Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Days of Autumn Waiting

Most everything is done, I think. Almost. We have made almost a thousand paper flowers of all sizes, though I still need to glue the big ones into wreaths for the tabletops. My dress and tiara and veil have all arrived and been fitted, though I still need to try them on all at once to figure out how I am doing my hair (or not). The script for our narrative at the reception is finished, though we have to make it through without crying. A blog describing and explaining all the nerdy symbolism is scheduled to be posted soon, just to entice and invite you into our world for an evening.

The wedding invitations have gone out, mostly. People get pretty cranky about wedding invitations. I had no idea. We made a google doc months ago, and invited people to fill that out and used it to send us the addresses automatically – including how people wanted their couple or family names stated, such as Mr. and Mrs. or the Blah-Blah Family, etc. Some people didn’t fill that out for some reason, and so had hurt feelings when an invitation didn’t come. That’s an easy fix,Shop the latest China Beanie Hats Wholesalers handpicked by a global community of independent trendsetters and stylists. just to grab one and share – because we definitely want to include anyone who wants to enjoy the night. But we got in trouble on several families for addressing the invitations wrong (from people who didn’t fill out the form). I always assume couples are at-one, and sending anything to them means you are sending to their whole family, whether conversation or text or email or card in the mail. But not everyone feels that way, and so I failed that in girl world, because no one coached me on wedding-invitation-addressing, and that’s the first time I ever tried. Now I know better, excepting I only get married once. For realz.

I tried to do better on thank you notes, thanks to my friends who made good lists for me at each of my showers. I had one shower with Deaf and work friends – that was my first one, and I was glad because it was easy and fun. Then Nathan’s mom gave me a shower in Bartlesville to meet his family’s friends, and that was good because it turned out I already knew a lot of them from the temple. Yesterday was my church shower, which was super special and very tender to my heart because without those people I would not be qualifying to get married in the temple. We cried a lot, special healing-miracle tears. It was really good. I will have one more shower, that one given by my local ward that said they couldn’t make it to Broken Arrow for my church shower (but many thanks to Stacie Gardner, Amanda Bright, and Jenn Perkins for representin’ yesterday – that meant a lot, really).

People have been so good and generous and sweet, donating bits on our “Honeyfund” site, where we are registered for a honeymoon. With everyone helping just a little, we will now be able to travel just a little ways away – but in the same time zone – and enjoy our vacation together without being anxious of our budget. It is exactly sufficient, just enough to get us there, enjoy some activities together, and enjoy each other’s company. This has really helped as we do the hard work of transitioning into the same time zone and settling in together.

Mom, however, is on her own adventure. She has found a house she loves, and we will find out this week if she has won it. It’s a big prayer request, especially after all she has been through. I would not trade the last year of her being here with me for anything. I know it has been sacred time, precious experiences I will never forget, and that it has been for our good. We got her through spine surgery, and we had each other through the death of my father. We connected with my brother and his family and their kiddos, and all of us together became a new family in new ways, wiser and better and healthier and stronger. These are the best kinds of miracles. But, that all being amazing, mom says that me getting married means that Nathan will be my new roommate, so she wants to get her own place and leave us to do the work of learning to be a couple (in the same time zone). We have looked at different ideas, but she really likes this one particular house, so that seems good and right to her, so we are praying and hoping and will find out this week.

As for Nathan and I transitioning, we will – from here on out – see each other every two weeks. I go to New York in two weeks, and then two weeks after that he comes home for our wedding. We will have about ten days together before he flies back to NYC for work, coming home again two weeks later the first week of November. Then he goes back to NYC again until coming home for Thanksgiving. After that, he goes back to NYC one last time to finish up his company’s holiday season stuff, coming home for good in early December. Have you seen the company that he writes the copy for? It’s so fun and great, with lots of hip organic locally made stuff – mom says she wants her new house decorated in only their stuff, ha! CLICK HERE to check out Uncommon Goods. His musicals and other writing projects he can continue working on from home, though he has lots of fun ideas for local projects as well – like the mystery game he wrote for Taste of Collinsville coming up this Thursday!

My work has been focused on NOT taking new clients tons at a time, which is new for me. But my schedule needs to transition to be a little more family friendly. I can’t work 14-18 hour days six days a week and still be married (and happy about it). But I also won’t need to work so much, because Nathan and I will be a team, and I will have help – in lots of ways. This is a good thing, and as it should be, so my pace is starting to slow down. It’s a new feeling for me, and I will probably panic as I adjust a little, but I am learning. He is very steady for me, and very good to me, and very wise, and I continue to be surprised by what a help and comfort this is. So my Monday night people are being moved to other nights, so we can have Family Home Evening, and my Thursday nights will be Owasso-based so that I will be close to home so we can go ballroom dancing after work. I am already not working on Saturdays anymore, which is crazy weird for me, but is what has provided the time for flower-making, thank-you-writing, and all other random wedding planning stuff that no one ever tells you is so overwhelming (till they are laughing as you drown).

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